When life gets in the way

I'm going to be honest, I have had one heck of a couple weeks.  Joe and I both got in car wrecks.  His was a bit complicated as far as insurance was concerned.  Mine was pretty cut and dry.  I hit the lady in front of me and my car insurance paid for it all.  It sucks but it happened.  This added to an already stressful time in our house as Joe has been stretched to his limits with work.  That being said, meals and food have been an afterthought.  I haven't tracked my food in at least 2 weeks.  I've forgotten to wear my activity monitor so I've lost all of that data.  

The upside of all of this is, that I am still thinking about what I eat and how it would work with Weight Watchers. Now, I'm not saying I've been perfect, but I have been maintaining the weight that I have lost, and that is all I could ask of myself these last couple weeks.  I did not go to a meeting last week and I'm sorry about that, but at the same time, I am ok with it.  I recognized that I needed to be home with my family and we needed to have that normalcy for that night.  I thought about going another night, but I didn't. 

 Luckily, last week's theme was not how to stay on plan during the weekends and holidays.  That is this week's message and I will be right there front and center, because weekends are by far my hardest time.  Not only am I home or even out and about, but I have 2 other people's needs I need to take into account and I feel bad if I make them eat on plan.  Sounds silly for many reasons.  Why wouldn't I want my family to eat healthy?  Why don't I feel that I am important enough to make my needs a priority?  I can't wait until Tuesday to hear how others make it through the weekends!

Let's see, I'm proud that I am 10lbs down, but realistic that I am looking to still lose another 60.  I saw a scrapbooking friend on the wall at Weight Watchers and she lost 70lbs.  She is a motivator to me.  I can't wait to hear her story next week at our crop! I can use all the tips I can get.  One thing I know I need to work on is my exercising.  I would like to keep working on walking after I get off work.  I just have to keep myself from sitting down.  I keep sitting down and then not getting back up.  Not acceptable!  I have made an effort to make sure that Lucas gets to do something more than just hang out at home after school, but I need to make myself a priority.  I am important.  I AM important! 

On another note at home, I am working to clear out the clutter and to make a daily cleaning list that I can keep up with.  Joe and I both agree that our stress levels would decrease if we could just keep things clean.  Well this is more of a Joe thing, but I do agree.  I am ok living messy, but when everything is clean I do feel proud and as if I'm allowed to relax.  Not to say that when the house is messy I don't sit on my butt, but I think about all of the things that I should be doing instead of actually just relaxing.  I get real proud of myself and even motivated to work harder once I just DO.  If I sit all I want to do is sit.  

Ok, It's clear I don't know how to make post that is very focused.  My goal this week is to walk after work, AND (that's right, 2 goals) to post every day this week.  I am going to immerse myself in my weight loss journey so I can get my focus back and kick some weight loss ASS!  

Losing it,

Lisa 

It's been a while!

So, I just realized I haven't posted since the new school year started. I have been busy!  We have had our share of bumps and bruises this month!  Two car accidents for a start. Insurance fighting over who should pay for Joe's car.  A slight panic over getting in an accident with Lucas in the car. Not my finest moment. He was ok. I was ok. It's gonna be ok. 

One highlight is that I did hit my 10 lb weight loss mark!  Yay!  I'm doing my best, but this weekend I have been eating my stress. It's kinda what I do. It happens. I'm turning things around this week though. No worries! 

I'm gonna do better at posting!  I promise!  It really does help! 

So, yeah. I'm looking forward to September!  A fresh month and it must be a better month than August was!

Losing it,

Lisa

Sleep can boost weight loss?!

These are the amazing words I heard this week at my meeting.  This is even the focus for our entire month's worth of conversations.  Wow, is all I can say.  If you know me even a little bit, you will know that I LOVE to sleep.  I can sleep in a car, on a plane.  I learned when Lucas was a baby to sleep holding him, using my shoulder as a pillow.  I look for any point in a day when I can nap.  I feel that my naps yield the best sleep. Why?  It's a choice.  Plain and simple.  I get to choose to lay down, so my mind isn't running thinking about how I can hit the snooze until 520 if I just do my "crunchy hairstyle." I can just lay my head down and nap.  no worries about what the next day will bring.  I still have plenty of time left for that in my day once I wake from my nap.

I hit the snooze button an average of 60 minutes each morning.  I can't help it.  I don't just pop up out of bed.  I never have.  I used to use my Mom as a human alarm clock in high school.  To hear sleep can help me lose weight, I'm on board!

The studies said you need 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night.  Typically this is not an issue for me, though I do start hitting snooze at 4 am these days so going to bed at 9 gets me just 7 hours of quality sleep.  This is all assuming I'm able to turn my  brain off in order to fall asleep shortly after hitting the pillow.  This is a goal I'm going to work on, but I also only get about 2 hours of non-kid time a day assuming Lucas is in bed by 8 and I'm in bed by 10. Sometimes less or more for each of us!  I do think that I will be able to sleep better if I feel I have gotten some me time in for my day.  We'll see.  Maybe I snooze less in order to make up for a later bed time.  YIKES!

In the next couple days, I'm going to write a new post about my "silent partner" in this whole weight loss journey.  I feel that I haven't given it as much attention as I should and so for now I will leave you at that.

Thanks so much for your continued support!  I owe my success to you all as well.  The thought of letting y'all down keeps me going as much as letting myself down.  I'm making a change and for the most part, I'm having fun with it.  Sure, there are days when I want to just eat what and how much of what I want, but there is plenty of time in life for that.  For now, the goal is weight loss and I'm here to prove I can do it!

Losing it,

Lisa

Please pardon any typos.  I did not proofread, just typed this one and called it a day! 

Was it worth it?

Hey!  It's been too long!  What a busy week in the Russell Household!  I had a few challenges put in front of me this week and here's how I dealt with them!

My first big challenge since I started Weight Watchers was going to my my in-laws for the day.  I was very nervous for a couple reasons.  I knew we were going to a beach house to meet some of his family, but I had no idea what that meant for me keeping on plan.  I thought about packing snacks, and I did.  I packed a bag of grapes and brought a plum.  no points, semi-filling.  Good right?  They would have been better if I actually ate them.

 I ended up at a restaurant, Wicked Tuna (yum!) and after looking over the menu, decided to as healthy as I could.  I got a most delicious crab cake sandwich.  They didn't have any sides that weren't smothered in butter, so I just kept it with the side of fries it came with.  A stronger person may have dissected their crab cake to eat, just the crab cake, no bread, and also just leave the fries alone.  That would have saved me points, but my fear was, I had no idea when I would eat next.  Had I remembered my snacks, then really that would have been a non-issue, but I didn't.  They were at the bottom of my beach bag and out of sight out of mind.  I also, assumed we would be leaving and stopping at Chick fil a on the way home, so I knew I could eat a low point dinner and still be OK.

We ended up staying longer and staying for dinner.  They had quite a spread out, and I tried to eat as best as I could.  I ended up eating a hamburger with ketchup and mustard (again on a bun...) and then some oven roasted potatoes.  There was some Quinoa and rice that I tried too.  It was pretty good.  I had been wanting to try Quinoa so that was nice.  I tried my best, and I guess that's all I can really do.

Yesterday was challenge 2 on Weight Watchers.  I helped out at my school to paint the classrooms.  I started the day off right with my cereal, but when lunch time came, I chose the best smelling pizza, Chicken barbecue.  I ate two pieces, not horrible, but in the end cost me 21 of my 29 points for the day.....

In just writing this, it is coming off very negative and I'm judging myself very harshly for making decent decisions.  Were they the best, no.  But come on, I'm human.

Here's some positives, I DID earn 11 activity points for all of my hard work yesterday.  Had I eaten like that and sat on the couch then I could understand being so mean above, but I didn't.  I worked hard yesterday. I DID think about everything I ate.  I easily could have eaten another slice of pizza or a piece of cake for Joe's birthday, but I didn't.  I DID wake up in the mindset that I need to make sure I'm on plan and get in some extra activity today so that I can still be hopeful for good results on Tuesday.  Should I not have good results, I know where things went wrong and I know better now how to avoid this type of situation again.  It's one week and really it's only 2 days in that week.  I got this!

Losing it,
Lisa

This is the face of 5.2 lbs lost

This is how awesome I feel!  

Losing it,

Lisa

I made it!

What a week this has been.  I'm proud to say that I finally made it to a meeting last night at 630.  It was definitely needed.  I was on the verge of binge eating and just pretending like it didn't happen.  That's kinda what got me into this situation in the first place  I would be upstairs watching TV and Joe downstairs playing video games and I would have a cookie or two or three.  A bowl of kettle corn or two or three.  A Popsicle or two or three! You see.  No one can see me so they have no idea how much or little I'm eating, or so I thought.

I was supposed to go to yoga on Thursday night, but when my Mom asked which I was going to, all I could think was, I want to eat an entire bag of delicious, flavorful and crunchy Chex Mix.  I told my Mom, I think I should go to a meeting.  It was a weird statement to make for me.  It felt like I was an addict and needed to go to a meeting to remain clean.  Then my Mom broke it down plain and simple for me. I am an addict, but my addiction is to something I need to survive, not something that is a choice.  It really helped me see the bigger picture.  In the moment I wanted to eat that bag of Chex Mix, I was stressed out and I hadn't eaten any fruits or veggies that day.  It's amazing to see how much eating correctly can affect your mood.  I'd never have believed it.  I was sure that eating a bag of Chex Mix made me happy.  I mean that satisfying crunch.  It's hard to get that from a fruit.  That delicious salt and seasonings.  Oh my goodness.  That is heaven, isn't it?  I hate to say it, but I don't think so.

Check out those fruits and veggies!
Beer is Joe's I promise!

One lesson I learned the hard way this week was that grocery shopping is a must!  You can't sustain yourself on Smart Ones and Weight Watchers friendly carbs.  While I maintained my points, I didn't fill myself.  I was hungry most of the week.  I was lacking my fruit with my breakfast.  I was missing my luscious greek yogurt! Today, I finally made it a priority to get to the grocery store.  I would have done this earlier this week, but a chicken carcass eaten by my sweet Sophie derailed life for a good 24 hours. I was on a mission at the grocery store today.  I didn't take a list.  Will do next time.  I did however load up my cart with the most lovely fruits and veggies.  I realized as I was unloading my bags, that I didn't get a single piece of junk food.  everything I got was either whole wheat, brown rice, fruit, vegetable or lean protein.  The best part is, I was happy about that.  I was proud.  I was completely content with my fridge full of fresh goodness.  Less than two weeks in and this is feeling right to me.



I realize that one area I need to step it up is in my exercise.  I have had allowed life to get in the way.  I am not making movement a priority and that needs to stop.  I will do better!! I have even been given the offer to walk a trail with a friend and her daughter.  Think that sounds like a Win-Win!

Can't wait to share my week 2 results!  Wish me luck this weekend.  They certainly prove to be a challenge!

I've got a 138 days left to go!  Check out my campaign at 10Centsapound.com!

Losing it,

Lisa

That's not what I expected.

 I'm not really sure how to start this post.  I started my day thinking this was going to be a post about how my second Weight Watchers meeting went.  I had everything lined up and I was ready to go.  I left Lucas with my Mom and headed to my meeting.  Upon arriving at 615 I was shocked when I entered the room and my biggest fear came true, I was L-A-T-E!  Somehow my eyes had deceived me.  I read that the meeting started at 630 and now, I learn it started at 6.  UGH!  I am constantly overly early to everything in my life! All I could think was, this cannot be happening.  Everyone turned to look at me.  UGH!

My normal response would be to run, but I stayed and talked to the receptionist.  She took my weight and gave me my week's pamphlet and off I went.  Back to put my child up right where I left him 15 mins prior.  Oh, you noticed I skimmed over the weight part?

I was a little shocked to see that I had only lost 2.6 lbs.  Yes, yes.  That is a good thing, but my scale at home, that I stand on every morning, had told me I was down 7 lbs.  How could this be? I mean, I know I didn't do that much exercise, so that could figure in, but how can my home scale and my meeting scale differ by so much!  On my drive to the meeting I was already congratulating myself for getting 2 stickers!  A weight loss sticker and a 5 lbs loss sticker.  How awesome would that be?  Everyone would be looking at me for the right reasons, instead of being the one who can't read a website and showed up 15 mins into a 30 min meeting.

I'm not discouraged, but bummed that I had been living this "lie" in my head.  I guess checking everyday is a bit obsessive and a bit misleading, so this week I will only check once mid week and once the morning of my meeting.  That should be fair and not so much of a mind game.

3 big lessons learned here today:

1.  The Monday meeting is at 6.
2.  Don't weigh yourself everyday or you will go crazy
3.  You don't get stickers when you don't attend a meeting.  :(

I'm going to try and find a way to get to another meeting this week.  I think the information is still important.  I will also double and triple check the times!

Losing it,

Lisa 199.4 (should be celebrating being under 200, but I'm too focused on the fact that my home scale said 195.4 this AM!)

Hello, Temptation!

Almost a week in and I have been staying true to Weight Watchers.  I have avoided fresh brownies at my parent's house.  I cancelled my standing pizza order at work and sat and ate my lunch while all the kids in my class took bites of their delicious pizza! Today, I'm at a crop (a scrap booking event) that usually is synonymous with an all day food fest.  Everyone brings a dish and you eat off of those all day long.  You can see how this would be hard for a newbie Weight Watcher!  I brought my own Weight Watchers friendly meal consisting of rice, black beans, chicken, lime and cilantro! It proved to be very filling and very helpful in keeping me on target for my day! 

You and my meetings are keeping me on track!  So much so, that I feel I will go ahead and share my "Before" Picture.  It's not pretty, I know that.  I know this isn't something I have to do, but it's something I want to do.  I am proud that I am taking this step and I'm not ashamed that this is the current version of me, cause she won't be around for too long!

I've learned that I need to not just focus on eating free foods, like fruits and veggies.  They are filling and delicious, but they also don't seem to keep me full for long.  I need to make sure I'm getting my protein in each day and then add the fruits and veggies on top of that.  I have had an off work schedule this week and that has halted much of my activity goals.  I am hoping to get into a better fitness routine to go along with my eating to just increase these results exponentially! 

I logged in to my Weight Watchers online and it showed me the last milestone I hit.  It was a loss of 25 lbs. I was confused, because I have only have had one weigh which would have set my baseline, so how could this be?  Remember how I said I had done Weight Watchers before?  I don't remember much about it, but that it was awhile ago and I did it online only.  Apparently I was successful then.  I tried to pull  more stats, but was unable to.  I'm not even sure what my starting weight was in 2006.  I'm happy to see that this has worked before.  It gives me confidence with the greater support group I have now, I can be that much more successful! 

Goals for this week: 

1.  Talk at my Weight Watchers meeting.  

2. Walk at least 5 days next week for at least 60 minutes. 

3. Take time Sunday to plan out meals for the week and prep as much as possible. 

I can't wait to get to my next meeting to see what my official weight is.  Unofficially, my scale is saying I'm down 6 lbs.  That's certainly been motivation to stay on track. 

Losing it,

Lisa

"I did It" as Lucas would say!

Well, I walked in the door.  I stepped on the scale and I sat in the most uncomfortable chairs I've ever met!  The whole time I was on the verge of tears.  I'm not really sure why.  I don't think I'm embarrassed or ashamed.  I think it was just all so overwhelming.

I learned a lot from the first meeting.  I learned to plan as much as possible!  I like that though cause I need more planning in my life.  It will help my meals for my family and also allow me to not spend all of my day focused on what my next meal will be.  Those days are usually met with spontaneous, calorie laden meals!

I was surprised that the meetings weren't too long.  You really kinda welcome everyone in, not AA style, and then move on to a recap of the week prior and reviewing your week's homework.  Yeah, homework.  It's fun though!  This week's assignment is looking for a sensational salad.  Easy!  It's not rocket science, but the support is worth it!

Speaking of support, I left the meeting in tears too because of wonderful people like you! My phone was alerting me to all kinds of messages of encouragement!  I'm incredibly thankful to have such wonderful people in my life!  THANK YOU!

Losing it,

Lisa

Getting into ACTION!

OK, so in the last 24 hours I have made some major decisions to help me jump start this weight loss thing.  I know I have failed up to this point, but not anymore.  I know I've said that before, but this time something inside me has truly clicked and I will be the person that I deserve to be!

With that being said, I have done two major things to help me shed this weight.  The first being joining Weight Watchers.  I have done Weight Watchers before online, and stopped and started and paid for it and never used it, but that ends here.  I have faith that this program will allow me to get beyond my inner voice saying, "but I don't want to eat lettuce all day."  Good news is with Weight Watchers you are essentially using moderation of foods you already eat, and you are able to guide yourself to better choices with their e-tools and their mobile apps.  I'm also going to go to meetings for a little bit to help seal in the Weight Watchers lifestyle.  I'm also hoping it will give me some accountability.  I know my friends and family will forgive me my missteps, but I don't want a stranger to think poorly of me.  Silly, but true!

Already today I have learned that I can eat fast food (not my ideal, but was necessary today) and still maintain some semblance of control on my life and my diet.  When I say "diet" I mean the food I put inside my body NOT crunchy granola food that will never make me happy as a person.  I also learned that one spot I will need to watch is drinking my calories. Did you know a small Lemonade from Chick-fil-A is 5 Points?! Yikes! While I have said a final farewell to Diet Coke, I am still allowing myself some Sprite on occasion (sadly too regularly) and that can add up quickly.  I also learned that cutting both my front and backyard in 1 hour, earned me 6 Activity points!  That's pretty good seeing as a 30 min jogging session would only yield me 4 Activity points.  I'm sure people are going to get sick of my points, but I'm having fun with it, and that is the only way I'm going to be able to lose weight is if I'm having fun.

One quick note, about my lunch today, I ordered one of Chick-fil-A's new salads and when I got home and realized I ordered one that had fruit in it? I was taken back a bit.  I guess I didn't read the descriptions well.  Why I would EVER doubt Chick-fil-A I have no idea.  It was one delicious salad, that I honestly can't wait to have again! Check out the amazing Grilled Market Salad.  If I did my Weight Watchers calculation correct, that salad (minus dressing) is only 4 Points!  Not a bad lunch.

The other major thing I have done is joined forces with a friend and his genius idea of crowd-powered weight loss at 10centsapound.com.  Think of your a-thon's that you have done in the past, whether it be Jump Rope for Heart, Trike-A-Thon, heck, I did a Math-A-Thon in middle school!  You ask your friends and family for support in your cause.  In this case, the object of Ten Cents a Pound is to support those wishing to lose weight.  My personal campaign can be found HERE.  I would love any support you would be able to provide.  If it's well wishes here on my blog, wonderful.  If you are able to donate in support, while I'm not donating it to charity, I am going to use the money I raise to help to offset the costs of joining Weight Watchers as well as to get some amazing family pictures taken that I can be proud of.

One major reason I'm losing weight is because I would like to expand my family and in order to do so, in a healthy fashion, I need to lose.  My last pregnancy I was at 170 when I conceived and I never felt proud of the pregnant body I had, nor was I comfortable as my pregnancy progressed.  Some of my comfort could have easily been prevented had I conceived at a lower weight.

I plan to keep up with my blog as well.  I want to share the fun and healthy things I am learning and doing.  I mean I have had a blast with the Weight Watchers Scanner App.  I have always had a dream of being a grocery store clerk, and this is my dream come true.  Instead of adding up costs, when you scan, you add up points.  It will locate a product for you and you learn the point value.  No typing or scrolling needed!

Lastly, I just want to say a MAJOR thank you to you all for sticking by me as I have failed more than I have succeeded, but this will change!

Losing it,

Lisa

sad, sad...

I know I haven't posted in awhile.  I've started a few posts, but then I've just erased them because they were whiny and negative and made me more sad and upset at myself.  I am in my predicament because of me.  Only me.  I'm the only one to blame and I shouldn't be whining that this is hard, and that I haven't made much if any progress.  SO...

That being said, I'm taking this week to turn things around and to stop whining and to start doing.  Technically, that is what I was supposed to be doing when I started the blog, but I think I was tiptoeing around a much larger situation and my baby steps just aren't cutting it.  In fact, the baby steps mean smaller amounts of progress and well that can be defeating and make me just give up.  I don't want to give up.  I want more.

Yes, I have made some bad decisions this week and many others, but I'm going to try my hardest to make the time I need to make me healthier, and I'm doing it for ME!

I know I sound redundant, but don't give up on me now.  I'm not and I can't!

On a positive note, I have been going to yoga and loving every blissful minute of it.  I'm trying to figure out how to work more of it into my life!

Ok, off to organize the chaos that is my house!

Losing it (I promise),

Lisa

Funky...

OM....

I know I haven't posted in like a week. I haven't been in my best mindset, but that all changed on Thursday! I tried something new and LOVED it! Best news is, it's good for the mind the body and the soul! Yes, I'm talking about Yoga! My sister wanted to take a class or two while she is here on vacation and so being the sweet, never humble, sister that I am, I agreed to go along. During the day I really just wanted for it to fall through the cracks and we come up with something else to do. Snuggle a baby. Watch a silly movie. Play cards. Nope. Didn't happen.

Off to Yoga we went. Erin had found a studio in Summerville that had some classes that we could both attend with our varying schedules. The Yoga Loft of Summerville. (http://www.yogaloftsc.com/) We went to beginners yoga at 530pm. My thoughts before we even walked in for class, which can show you how mentally disturbed I am, were that some stick thin young girl would be our teacher. That everyone in the class would be skinny and pretty and all yoga geared out, while I'm in yoga pants that I've had for YEARS and two tank tops that showed every lump and bump in my body. I was surprised to see that I was most likely the youngest in the class. The instructor was a woman in her 40's and not what you would think of a typical Yogi (or what I would think of a typical yogi. You know like the ones you see on TV?!) This just so happened to calm my nerves and think that everything is going to be ok. At the beginning of the class the instructor told us to envision a goal for the class to focus on and help to maintain our focus. My goal was to just let go and allow myself to enjoy this.

I was very surprised to find out that I really enjoyed it and so did my body. The stretching made my back that carries more than it's fair share feel like a million bucks. I surprised my sister at how flexible I was. That made me feel good because there were certainly times where the girls were closer to my face than I would have appreciated and that certainly didn't make me feel flexible. Halfway through the class I had the most cliche thought. I felt centered. My head was still. My heart was calm. My weight was so evenly distributed that it literally made me feel like I was weightless. I couldn't have felt any better leaving class on Thursday.

I have made it my goal to go every week. Thursday's will be my day. I'll get off work. Go on my walk. start some laundry or clean around the house. Head off to yoga and then come home to enjoy a relaxing evening to myself. Knowing that Lucas will get to hang out with my parents after school and then have some quality time with his Dad afterwards will help me enjoy this day of peace and relaxation.

I'm going to end this on a happy note. My day today was shopping for clothes and I could go on and on about how I felt about myself while trying on clothes, but that's not the taste I want in my mouth before bed. I'm working on change and I'm proud of myself. I got some new shoes today to help me to walk with a little more pep in my step! I'm going to lose this weight!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Whether it's on the blog, Facebook or in person, It really means a lot for me to know that there are people out there that are pulling for me. I don't always support myself and make the best decisions, but knowing you care makes me try harder!

On another note, two more days with my sister and her sweet little family in town. It's sad, but it's been a blessing to be able to spend this time with them. I'm incredibly proud of the mother she has become and I love her sweet little boy so very very much!

Weight: not sure haven't been on the scale maybe tomorrow.

Losing it,

Lisa

Stuck.

My heart and body want to do better but my stomach wants yummy food. I bought pudding and oatmeal cookies today. I couldn't not. Maybe it's easier for me to work on moderation than to eliminate sweets. It's really the big holdup in my head. I've been eating well but fantasizing about sweets.

I dunno. I think I'm in my head this week even though I should be proud of the work I've done. I have walked regularly this week. More than I've not! This is pretty big for me. I've been a couch potato. Harsh wording but pretty true! That should be something to celebrate yet I'm focusing on what I can't have or that I haven't been doing.

I think this weeks challenge is to be positive and celebrate the changes I have made. To not focus on the small mistypes because they are still probably better than what I was doing.

Weight 194.2. (could have been worse after that doughnut fundraiser)

Losing it,

Lisa

Doing it!

I have walked two days in a row and I'm enjoying the endorphins, the conversation and the overall good feeling of moving! Thanks Lisa (same name, different person) for the motivation and walking buddy!

Thanks Kacee for being you! You are truly kind and motivating and I'm so proud of you! I know you must feel great!!!

Thanks to Joe for getting me the slightly offensive but surely helpful fitbit (jazzed up pedometer) for valentines day! I've walked over 11000 steps both Tuesday and today!

Pretty proud of myself this week!

Losing it,

Lisa

Monday...

Had a good day but still trying to figure things out. Fighting cravings and pretty sure I'm gonna lose. I just want a real sweet. I guess you could say, it's just tonight but I know me and I worry that it won't be.

I guess my goal for this week is to get moving! Going to walk with Lisa ( same name different person) after work and that's a start. Right?

I know this took years to put on so this won't be a quick nor easy process but it can certainly feel defeating each week when the scale barely budges. Weight this week 193.4. Yes, it's a loss! Yes, it's a celebration but I really didn't work hard for it last week. I don't feel like I earned it. Just sheer dumb luck!

Anyways. This ones a little but of a downer. Hopefully moving my body will make me a bit more positive about this process or maybe it's just a phase. Reality has set in. Kinda like stages of grief. I'm grieving my delicious eating habits and hours spent lounging on the couch.

Ok. Off to figure out my night!

Losing it,
Lisa

Figuring it out..

 I know this post is a day late, but my allergies have been keeping me from breathing and seeing! Be ever so thankful if you don't have allergies! Enough about that...  It took me a while to come up with my goal for this week.  In fact until today at about 3:00pm.  I have been doing really well so far with the challenges I have set, and I'm seeing positive results and I'm generally feeling better, but I'm still getting stuck in ruts from 3-6pm.  I don't know what to do with my time and in turn Lucas' time.  I am not gorging myself as I was before but I'm also not doing much of anything.  This in turn tends to run down my motivation and my mood.

This week (and forward, that's how this works ya know!) I will work hard on planning my time and Lucas' time before Joe gets home from work.  Today, I made a priority and went to the Laundromat to wash my comforter.  This has been a long time coming, but I beat myself up when I leave Lucas at school any later than when I get off work.  I feel like he's supposed to be with me when I'm not working.  For goodness sake, I've never even left him for the weekend!  He's almost 2.5 years old!!  Today, though I enjoyed my time with my Mom.  I beat her in cards and chatted about silly stuff.  It was nice.  I was recharged and ready to pick Lucas up.  This is one of my biggest challenges every day when I pick up Lucas.  He is very close to the same age as the children in my class, so after a long day I just want a few minutes of peace and quiet, and if you've met Lucas that's just not gonna happen.  He will sing your ear off all the way home or ask, "What's that?"  while you are driving and unable to look, but it doesn't stop him from asking on repeat until you do.

I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself.  I want to be with him/need time to myself.  I'm pretty sure that's life with a 2 year old though.  You never know what mood you will get from him, and you have to give yourself some time too in order to be able to handle the moods!  It's confusing, but it's my life :)

Tomorrow isn't planned yet, but I suspect we will be making a trip to the park or to my Mom's house.  I have my cousin in town, and Lucas loves him, as do I, so that will be fun.  Heck, maybe we even do both!

Ok, here's the good news WEIGHT 193.4.  It's moving down and that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.  I'm still playing with MyFitnessPal this week, but I needed more of a mental goal this week.

Wish me luck!  If you wanna do a play date or have an idea of a fun afternoon, let me know!  I'm in!

Losing it.

Lisa

Tough one.

This has been a harder challenge than expected.  I may have also chosen a bad week to replace sweets with healthier options.  I have to give myself some credit.  Though I may have made some poor choices, I still made more good choices than bad.  I had maybe a handful of peanut M&M's here and a piece of cake or two due to it being my birthday week and all.  I'm not mad at myself.  I am proud of the fact that I did make positive changes in my breakfast habits and even took some measure to eat a better lunch.

I have found the Kashi GoLean Oatmeal in Honey and Cinnamon is quite delicious and quite filling.  Normal Quaker Oatmeal would require me to eat two packets worth in order for me to feel full.  The servicing Size of the Kashi Oatmeal is one packet, but it's filled with so many whole grains that it fills you up with just one packet.  I would compare the taste to that of a warm oatmeal bar.  It's very yummy!  I'm also working on eating a yogurt for snack with my kids.  I was finding that if I didn't eat snack with the kids I would be ravaging by lunch time!  This did nothing good for my appetite and then later binges. I love greek yogurt.  I have always been pretty picky with my yogurt.  I only like raspberry yogurt.  Doesn't matter if it's regular or greek, raspberry is the only flavor I can tolerate.  I have only found rapsberry greek yogurt in two different brands Dannon and Chobani.  I am starting to prefer the Dannon brand a bit more.  It tastes very creamy and reminds me a bit of ice cream.  Chobani has been my favorite for quite some time so I'm not giving up on it yet!  The sales will determine my brand for the week!

As far as lunches are concerned I have been trying to make a two part effort.  One, not buy lunch from the restaurant the school orders from for the day and two, eat a healthier lunch.  I have been logging my daily meals in MyFitnessPal to see where I am at and what changes I can be making in order to help affect my health and weight loss.  I had tuna salad for lunch this week, either by itself or on top of a salad.  It was good, but when recording it in MyFitnessPal I realized the serving size for a can of tuna is half a can!  How cray is that!  I usually eat two cans!  I know that's a lot of exclamation points, but my mind was seriously blown.  When I realized this, I tried the next day to make one can and just add lots of veggies.  I added onions and zucchini.  I was too lazy to boil and egg and add it too, but next time I will for sure to help just beef up the tuna salad.

My worst time of day for sweets has been between 3-6pm when Lucas and I are at home typically and waiting for Joe to get home.  This week, I've been doing good.  I will typically have an apple and/or a Nature Valley Granola Bar.  I have always liked the idea and texture of these granola bars, but I never found my flavor.  This week, I found my flavor!  It's cinnamon, surprisingly.  It's one of the healthier more palatable options I could find.  Let's be honest, sometimes after a long workday you just need a crunch and a carb!  May be the wrong mindset, but hey at least I'm looking for healthier options to meet these needs.

Overall you can see I have made changes for the better, I may not have been 100% faithful to my goal as I was in week 1, but I still proud of the 75% I accomplished.  Especially during my birthday week!

Oh, I almost forgot!  I signed up for my first 5K in way too long!  Memorial Day weekend I will be running (hopefully) in the GoGlow Run.

So, what's in store for next week?  Not sure yet, but I'll keep you posted tomorrow!

Flowertown Festival 2013 - Riding the "dinosaur " train

Losing it,

Lisa

One Week Plus One Day...

I'm super proud of myself for having made it through 7 whole days without any Diet Coke.  I know this seems like a minor task, but it's pretty major for me!  I have taken my fair share of Excedrin, and I'm even currently thinking that if I had just one Diet Coke I might actually be able to get this pounding in my head to stop, but I won't.  I know it's probably just that I'm tired or need to drink more water, so I'll be doing both shortly!

It took me some time this week to decide what my next move should be, and since I started off with removing an empty "food" from my diet I think I'm going to continue along that path.  I have a horrible sweet tooth.  I crave a sweet after pretty much any and every meal.  I don't know what it is, but it's been there as long as I can remember and it's only getting worse as I get older!  my prime sweets time is between 3pm and 6pm because it's just me and Lucas in the house and I know he's not going to judge me fore eating peanut M&M's or Publix Oatmeal cookies, so it's almost as if it's not happening, though clearly, my waistline disagrees.  

I was talking to my sister about removing ALL sweets from my daily life, but I know that will only make me focus that much harder on it and will just set me up for failure.  SO, instead I'm going to replace the sweets I eat with healthy alternatives like fruits.  I took a taste of a plum our kids had for snack at school last week and it dawned on me, "Why don't I eat this?"  It was tart and juicy.  It was sweet and best of all it was healthy.  If I ate two on a "bad" day that's not really bad.  sure it's got some sugar in it, but that is at least all natural sugar and it's fruit not chocolate covered nuts or cookies that I trick myself into thinking they are healthy because they contain oatmeal!  

Today on our car ride home, all 8 hours of it, I was pretty tempted by the snacks I had in my bag, but I abstained   Tomorrow in order to not fall back into my bad habits I'll be hitting up the grocery store once school is over!  I really do think this small change will make a huge difference.  

My heart.  My love.  My motivation!

I know it's just day one of this week, but if you have any ideas on what change I should make next week, let me know!  I'm thinking about looking at each of my 3 meals over the next 3 weeks.  Good idea?  Bad idea?

Well this girl is pretty tired from visiting my sister and her sweet new family, so I hope you have a GREAT night!

Losing it,

Lisa

Update coming

Back from vacation tomorrow and back to posting! Good news: diet coke free. Bad news: Weight 197.0. It's ok though, not discouraged my new goal will help this number drop! More details tomorrow!

Whew!

I realized today that I picked the absolute worst week ever to give up caffeine! I have 2 1/2 days at work to complete my board, door art, Easter egg hunt, and oh yeah pack myself and a two year old up to go to Maryland for 6 days! Yeah, an extra burst of caffeine wouldn't be so bad right about now.

Well the good news is I am diet coke free! I made it through the day even with a diet coke brought in just for me! I've had a constant dull headache but nothing too bad.

I'm thankful for all the support that has been given to me and I know wholeheartedly that played a huge part in me making it through the day! I thank you so much and wish me luck for tomorrow!

Ok now off to bed cause I'm sooo sleepy!!

Losing it,
Lisa

11 Days

In eleven days I turn 31.  I am happy in most aspects of my life.  The one part of my life that I am unhappy, maybe even angry about is my weight.  I'm at the highest I've ever been.  Just shy of what I weighed when I was pregnant with Lucas 2 years ago.  I find myself getting upset about my weight only to eat away those emotions.  This cycle is going to stop.  Things are going to change.  It's time.

I'm taking the advice of the wise, Morwen, and I will start with just one thing at a time.  The first change I'm going to make is removing Diet Coke from my life.  I can drink upwards of 4 a day and drink little to no water.  I don't despise water, in fact, I find myself craving water at times and loving every last sip when I do finally drink it. I know Diet Coke is full of chemicals and artificial sweeteners that don't have any benefits for me, but still I turn to it as a comforting measure.  I would call myself an addict.  If I don't have any in the house, I get panicky.  How am I going to get my next Diet Coke?  What will I drink?  I'm going to just fall asleep walking if I don't have that precious Diet Coke.

I'm going to prepare myself for this change.  I know it won't be easy.  I've let it go too far.  I'm going to anticipate the caffeine withdrawal headaches. Advil and water will be my new best friends, and I'm ok with that.  I could just slowly taper off my number of Diet Cokes, but then that would require me to use the skill of moderation and I'm just not there yet.  Maybe in a few months I can understand that it's ok to have a Diet Coke occasionally, but as of now, one leads to two leads to four and well... You know.


Each Sunday night, will be weigh-in night.  If for nothing else than to publicly embarrass myself into losing weight.  At work, we did a Biggest Loser challenge and each week at weigh in I was just mortified to show my weight.  I had some weight loss weeks, but I sure wasn't doing anything to move those numbers down on the scale.  Now I'm serious.  I have had a lot of reminders lately that life is all too short and I'm determined to make the most of mine and to turn my lifestyle around for myself and for my kid.  It's sad when you hide food you are eating from your kid cause it's not good enough for him, but it's good enough for you.  Makes no sense.

Week 1 - WEIGHT - 197.6

Losing it,

Lisa